Update: Nimish Batra tells me the quote below is from Douglas Adams and implores me to go do some research. So I did. Sure enough, it was published in Adams’ “The Salmon of Doubt”. Thanks Nimish.
As someone who’s come to love good tea, I’ve also come to (slowly) understand the proper way to prepare it. The reason most people shrug and look at you funny when you suggest having a cup of tea is because they’ve never a cup that’s been properly-prepared. Slopping a bag of orange pekoe Lipton into some moderately hot water doesn’t get you tea — it gets you a cup of brownish swill you have to struggle to drink.
All of this is largely because we’re dumb Americans and we don’t understand the nuances of making good tea, but the good news is that the BBC has provided us a handy guide to lead us out of the dark ages in our relationship with the drink:
So the best advice I can give to an American arriving in England is this. Go to Marks and Spencer and buy a packet of Earl Grey tea. Go back to where you’re staying and boil a kettle of water. While it is coming to the boil, open the sealed packet and sniff. Careful - you may feel a bit dizzy, but this is in fact perfectly legal. When the kettle has boiled, pour a little of it into a tea pot, swirl it around and tip it out again. Put a couple (or three, depending on the size of the pot) of tea bags into the pot (If I was really trying to lead you into the paths of righteousness I would tell you to use free leaves rather than bags, but let’s just take this in easy stages). Bring the kettle back up to the boil, and then pour the boiling water as quickly as you can into the pot. Let it stand for two or three minutes, and then pour it into a cup. Some people will tell you that you shouldn’t have milk with Earl Grey, just a slice of lemon. Screw them. I like it with milk. If you think you will like it with milk then it’s probably best to put some milk into the bottom of the cup before you pour in the tea. If you pour milk into a cup of hot tea you will scald the milk. If you think you will prefer it with a slice of lemon then, well, add a slice of lemon.
There. You’re well on your way to tea-snobdom. Go and spread the word.
14 responses so far ↓
Nimish Batra // March 25, 2007 at 12:36 pm
JEFF
OMG.
That’s Douglas Adams man…
You don’t know about Douglas Adams?
[I'll shut up and let you search. I'm a fanboy. it's all over my blog f you go and search.]
dandare // March 25, 2007 at 1:51 pm
I’m afraid most of the friends i know, here in England, do not use a teapot anymore… its gone out of fashion. Its teabag in the mug, pour in the hot water, let it stand for a while, swirl it around too for good measure (the teabag that is), then add some milk and there it is.
I sometimes use a teapot, and use a similar method too that above, although for some reason, immediately after the pot is full of hot water, i turn it around for 3 to 4 goes (a small tradition i got off someone else), make sure you do this carefully though.
I must point out though, that i drink more coffee than tea(mainly so i’m awake in the morning).
Mea Culpa // March 25, 2007 at 7:44 pm
Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
– Douglas Adams, from Last Chance To See
Jeff Ventura // March 25, 2007 at 7:53 pm
Now everyone’s showing off their Adams stuff.
I GET IT. I’M AN ADAMS DUMMY. Jeez.
Lisa // March 25, 2007 at 9:59 pm
The flash file is really fun! I always love my black tea with milk and sometimes i would add some rose bud in to it! so i get the rosy fragrance!
Nimish Batra // March 26, 2007 at 12:29 am
Broken Link! Broken Link!
Jeff, if you want, I can draw up a very nice Douglas Adams reading schedule… though I can assure you, once you start, you’ll have to get everything he ever wrote or produced.
Jeff Ventura // March 26, 2007 at 12:31 am
Nimish: fixed the link!
Douglas Adams reading schedule « Nimish Batra, The Life and Times of // March 26, 2007 at 12:40 am
[...] galaxy, Douglas Adams, Sci Fi — Nimish Batra @ 10:10 am For Douglas Adams neophytes (like Jeff Ventura of Graceful [...]
Nimish Batra // March 26, 2007 at 12:41 am
And here’s the promised schedule.
Jeff Ventura // March 26, 2007 at 7:25 am
LOL. Thanks Nimish. Noted!
Steve P // March 26, 2007 at 10:44 pm
While I appreciate Douglas Adams and I love teas, the British are not the best advisors on becoming a coinneseur. (Well, maybe their tastes have improved in the last 10 years - as have Americans.) The average American is also not a good guide for making good coffee just because they drink more.
)
I was raised on tea and coffee. Perked coffee and Lipton green. (not much else available except that Orange Pekoe!
I ventured upon espresso in a little shop at the end of the Kalverstraat in the early 60’s and was hooked. Unfortunately it took over 20 years before you could find a decent cup in the US. (And I’m in Seattle!)
I’m certainly not being “absolutist” in my opinion, but even though there were other brands of “good” coffee, Starbucks deserves credit for popularizing the many single bean varieties. Unfortunately, they also popularized lattes and mochas which have sort of displaced “coffee”, I also think the Starbucks phenomonen was partly responsible for the increased interest and therefore availability of good tea. (And other REAL “gourmet” products. Variety has found many peoplle willing to pay for it.)
And, while “good” teas were always available in small shops that you had to search out, there are now many tea shops (hopefully where you are) where dozens of wonderful single leaf teas are available. (I currently am biased toward the delicacy of the - unflavored - white teas.) I currently have approximately 15 different teas in the house. Almost all are Japanese, Chinese and Korean. One Indian. All “oriental” and THAT is where the best advice on brewing comes from. Different teas take different brewing times. Also temperatures so they say, but my sense of taste is not that fine any more.
And PLEASE, “Hairball Delight” - herbal infusions - are NOT tea. (Which is not to say they are all bad!)
And my apologies, but I’m ADD and the train of thought ran on through and missed the station!
So anyone (is anyone, really?) who is still stuck on Lipton Orange P&P or wh wants to pursue the tea alternative, just go to your local grocer, pick up several varieties of REAL tea teabags, use a little care in brewing (watch the time) and if your interest is piqued, find a good tea shop, a good book on teas and enjoy the adventure.
And - personal bias, again - PLEASE! NO milk, sugar or lemon!
fifthdecade // March 27, 2007 at 12:01 am
Douglas Adams was brilliant. He even had something to say about the computer industry (OK, he ddn’t write this specifically about computers, but he could have done).
“Whenever something that can never possibly go wrong goes wrong, it proves impossible to get at or repair” which is as true today as it has always been.
I take my Earl Grey (it has to be Twinings) black with no sugar: good tea brewed properly has its own natural sugars and needs no extra.
And tea also has caffeine in, so works just like coffee, which has been proven not to make any difference to your state of wakefulness other than to repair the withdrawal symptoms coffee drinkers naturally exhibit if they haven’t had one for a while.
You just can’t beat a good cup of tea…
Summer // March 27, 2007 at 3:45 pm
I chanced upon this website and thought this post was great. I know of Douglas Adams but didn’t know about his thoughts on tea. I wonder if you’ve read George Orwell’s take on tea. You can find it at
http://www.booksatoz.com/witsend/tea/orwell.htm
And on a completely less enthralling level you can find mine at
http://summerlightning.wordpress.com/2007/03/03/put-the-kettle-on/
Mitch Denny // March 31, 2007 at 2:18 am
Hi Jeff,
I worked with a bloke in Sydney who used to swear that you should only bring water to the boil once, and to the end would know use an urn or boiling water tap.
As an Australian with a european heritage I do enjoy a nice up of tea. Here in Canberra there are a few good sources for specialist teas.