GracefulFlavor

I know I’m late with this topic, but seeing how I consider this perhaps the most powerful 20 minutes of video I’ve ever seen, I’d be doing you a considerable disservice by not sharing it.  And if you’ve seen it already, well, see it again.  It’s worth it.

So, assuming you haven’t seen Jill Bolte Taylor’s now-famous TED talk, let me try to sum it up for you: a hyperintelligent neuroanatomist suffers a left-brain hemorrhage and has a unique opportunity to internally document its effects before being pulled into unconsciousness.  She notes changes in her motor skills, her perception of the world around her, her ability to understand rudimentary glyphs and language constructs.  Blah blah blah, huh?

No.

The most interesting thing about Taylor’s wonderfully-narrated and moving talk is her description of how we actually have two cognitive minds: our right brain, a parallel processor, sees the world in terms of boundless energy, all of us connected to one another as one human family.  With it, we process sights, sounds, tactile feelings, smells, emotion — everything in parallel.  An explosion.  This is the mind freed of the trappings of learned intelligence and logical constructs.

The left brain is a serial processor: it is concerned with the past and the future, with associating current data with past events and future possibilities, with categorizing and organizing the data about data.  It does all of this methodically and logically, in a streamed process.

The most compelling thing about the left brain is that it provides us with an external sense of self; it gives us hard boundaries, tangible delineation, an I think, therefore I am sense of identity that while useful to the ego, disconnects us from the energies that unite us.  In a very real sense, the left brain is the diametric opposite of the right.

Taylor’s recounting of her experience begins on a nerdish note and leaves you with tears in your eyes.  She endured a harrowing eight-year experience whose prime dividend was the gift of allowing her to see the world with the logical, information-driven side of her brain silenced, and what she saw was life-changing.  She saw the plumbing, the wiring.

The reason.

She’s correct: we all have the ability to get more familiar with our right brains by turning inward.  We don’t need to suffer a stroke to get there.  What awaits us is profoundly powerful and — if the state of our world is any indicator — something we’ve been missing for far too long now.

Jill Bolte Taylor: My Stroke of Insight (TED talk)

My Stroke of Insight (book; Amazon)

Here’s the national outlook, updated several times a day.  CA and the midwest are getting raped the hardest, while the central states seem to be doing the best.

I know I just got suckered this morning: I saw $4.05 on the gas station’s corner placard, so I pulled in so my piece of shit Dodge would get me to work and I wouldn’t be victimized by its 18 MPG behavioral disorder.  Upon getting out of the car, I realized the at-pump price for credit card transactions was $4.15, and the $4.05 was cash only.  So if I wanted the lower price, I had to actually go into the gas station, pay a pre-determined amount, then go back out and pump, with no guarantee of a complete fill-up.  Or I would have to go back in and get change.  And I would have to get cash in the first place, because I didn’t have a hundred bucks on me.  Whatever.

I’m sorry, but when was the last time you actually went into a gas station to pre-pay for gas?  I haven’t done that in the last five years, at least, and I don’t plan on starting again.

Anyway, I had to suck it up because there was no other gas station within a reasonable distance, so I’ll get my money’s worth now: if you’re unfortunate enough to be driving through Michigan, avoid the Sunoco station in Milford just south of the highway off exit 155B.  Complete rip off, and looking at the corner placard a second time, the $4.05 price has a tiny “cash only” disclaimer right below it, too small for anyone to reasonably see if they’re driving by scoping the price.

Remember when Domino’s Pizza ran the popular Noid TV commercials, which featured a miniature masked red dude who was obsessed with making Domino’s pizza cold before it got delivered?  It was a good campaign and actually got some pop culture legs posthumously (Family Guy, Simpsons), but never before has the “Avoid the Noid” tagline been so apropos:

In commercials for Domino’s Pizza, the chain’s employees wage a never ending battle against the Noid, a gremlin who delays deliveries and carries a gun that can turn a pizza ice cold. Many viewers are amused by the Noid, Domino’s says, but one of them took the advertising campaign personally. Last week Kenneth Noid, 22, walked into a Domino’s Pizza shop in Chamblee, Ga., with a .357 Magnum revolver and took two employees hostage. When police arrived, he demanded $100,000 in cash, a getaway car and a copy of The Widow’s Son, a 1985 novel about secret societies in an 18th century Parisian prison.

All Noid got was the pizza he ordered. After a five-hour siege, the two employees slipped away and Noid gave himself up. According to police, Noid has “psychological problems” and believes that he has an “ongoing dispute with Tom Monaghan,” the head of the Detroit-based Domino’s chain.

I think Kottke is right: Time magazine is making shit up.

Let me be clear right up front: baseball is a stupid game (note how I didn’t say sport) played by heavy, slow, unathletic hacks who want to wear a leather belt and button-up shirt while presumably engaging in a sporting event.  Right.  Please.  I’m amazed this silly anachronism hasn’t been outed yet.  National pastime?  Uh-huh.  And Chevy is still the Great American Car.

Anyway, enjoy this one little bit of baseball news, because Vegas has odds of 5000:1 against you ever seeing any here again.

Minor leaguer traded for 10 baseball bats:

McALLEN, Texas (AP) — During three years in the low minors, John Odom never really made a name for himself until he got traded for a bunch of bats.

“I don’t really care,” he said Friday. “It’ll make a better story if I make it to the big leagues.”

For now, Odom is headed to the Laredo Broncos of the United League. They got him Tuesday from the Calgary Vipers of the Golden Baseball League for a most unlikely price: 10 Prairie Sticks Maple Bats, double-dipped black, 34-inch, C243 style.

“They just wanted some bats, good bats - maple bats,” Broncos general manager Jose Melendez said.

As someone who believes that markets are inherently efficient and often set proper values for goods, I see this as a heartwarming and validating piece of news.  Would this ever happen to a real athlete, like a hockey player?  No.

I will await the flood of angry pro-baseball emails from the baseballtards out there, because it’s bound to happen.  And they’re sure not in the gym or out somewhere playing a real sport, so we may as well get it on.

Funny — and accurate — life-wisdom analogies over at Blank is Like Blank.  A few favorites:

Ryan Seacrest is like celery:

He’s involved in a lot of stuff, but never makes much of a difference.

and

Using a semicolon is like barbecuing:

I’m never quite sure I’m doing it correctly.

and my favorite, which has special meaning these days

Apologies are like monsters:

They’re only real if you believe in them.

(thx Leo)

I don’t know about you, but these days I’d welcome something like this.

Link

(via swissmiss)

An extensive collection of the many times Michael from The Office says, “That’s what she said!”  I had no idea this was so prevalent, despite me being a fan of the show.  Who knew?

Link

(via kottke)

Daring Fireball juxtaposes two pieces of information so succinctly that I’d be remiss to alter it in any way, so here goes, straight from DF:

Today:

Saudi Arabia Friday rebuffed President Bush’s request to immediately pump more oil to lower record prices, saying it does not see enough demand to increase production.

Eight years ago:

Gov. George W. Bush of Texas said today that if he was president, he would bring down gasoline prices through sheer force of personality, by creating enough political good will with oil-producing nations that they would increase their supply of crude.

“I would work with our friends in OPEC to convince them to open up the spigot, to increase the supply,” Mr. Bush, the presumptive Republican candidate for president, told reporters here today. “Use the capital that my administration will earn, with the Kuwaitis or the Saudis, and convince them to open up the spigot.”

New information is coming to the surface that implicates Comcast in blocking BitTorrent traffic on its network. This is bad enough on the surface, but it gets a triple badness score when you consider it told the FCC the contrary this past February.

Ben Scott, policy director of Free Press, said in a response: “Consumers have no reason left to trust their cable company. This independent study confirms that Comcast is still blocking its customers from using popular applications — despite the FCC’s investigation and widespread public outrage. And worse, the harmful practice appears to be spreading through the marketplace.”

After being pressured by the press and thousands of upset customers, Comcast has announced that it will stop targeting BitTorrent transfers, (somewhere in the future) and promised to invest in its network capacity. For the time being the company will continue to throttle BitTorrent users.

We have asked the FCC for a response, but they had not yet responded at time of going to press.

I have Comcast and hate them. Their TV sucks, they can’t fix some of my HD channels (which really makes my new Samsung LN46A650 angry) and I know for a fact they throttle my BitTorrent traffic. As soon as I get a new place, I’m done with them if I have any say in the matter at all.

Link

(via DF)

(I am essentially cross-posting this from something I wrote for Clusterflock.  I want to get some thoughts and experiences from GF’s readers as well.)

The current situation: I drive a 2006 Dodge Charger R/T, which I’m convinced is made of human feces and some wires.  I hate the car across every dimension: the quality sucks, it’s a boat, the mileage is horrible (around 17-18 in summer; 15-16 in winter), the brakes warped at 23K miles, the horn honked randomly until the 3rd trip to the shop, and when I try to start it in the morning it cranks and wheezes and turns like an air-cooled VW that has been mortared and set aflame, even though this too has been looked at (and “fixed”) by a dealership on two different occasions.  Even some of its features, in their designed-as-intended state, are stupid. I often want to punch the car but don’t for fear of something important falling off/out, like an axle or the transmission.

Why did I buy it?  Good question.  I think it’s because I was stupid on that particular day.

So, fast forward to where I am right now: I’m coming up on my lease mileage limit on the Dodge and have a cool 8 months left on this screaming piece of shit, and with my monthly gas expense hovering nicely in the $450 or so range (more than my lease payment), I’m thinking about just buying this thing out and getting a 2008 Prius.  I’m fairly sure the math works.  (Math is numbers and language is letters, right?)

It’s to that end I am seeking your opinions, anecdotes and experiences with a late-model Prius.  I know it’s not some supercar in terms of performance, but that’s not what I want in my daily driver.  (That’s what I will buy a Nissan GT-R for.)  I want a car that will get me to and fro with a minimum of this thing we call money leaving my pocket.

For reference, my Charger costs me about $1100-$1250 per month to operate.  The Prius will cost me around $740.  I think I know which way the alligator mouth is pointing on this one.

Go.  I’m open to your comments.

“The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it.”

– George Bernard Shaw

Because of Deron Bauman’s bright idea, I found myself up at 11:30 at night downloading REO Speedwagon tracks from iTunes.

Oh, and also two Aldo Nova songs that for some inexplicable reason I loved in my teens, but we won’t talk about those. No we won’t.

Having been in Chicago this past weekend, I can vouch for the necessity of such a program.  It’s like people were begging to be drilled by the nearest willing car.

The new program will be first unveiled in select, high-danger cities:

The program began in selected cities this month with the distribution of pamphlets at each city’s most dangerous intersections. It will also expand into national radio spots, televised PSAs, and, most importantly, word-of-mouth. Included in the pamphlets are tips on how every responsible pedestrian can learn to “Get The Fuck Outta The Road,” including “Move your ass!” and “Look where you’re fucking going for once!” as well as an instructive diagram for removing one’s head from one’s ass prior to stepping into the crosswalk.

Then trickle down to the school level to help kids understand the danger inherent in getting obliterated by a car moving 60 MPH:

NHTSA officials say they hope the program will eventually branch out to include elementary schools with the child-friendly program “Hey Kids, Get The Fuck Outta The Road!” which will feature a mascot called Tire-Tread Teddy.

And then into a number of sub-programs:

The NHTSA has also launched a number of complementary subprograms using funding from the National Truck Drivers Union and Greyhound Bus Lines. These include “Oh, Good, Just Ride Your Bike Down The Middle Of The Road Why Don’t You,” “Ever Heard Of A Crosswalk, Dickhead?” and, for more affluent metropolitan neighborhoods, “What The Fuck—Are You Listening To Your Special Getting-Hit-By-A-Car Mix On That iPod, You Vacant Asshole?”

Even with the program barely in its infancy, the early results have been extremely positive:

The new program has already shown positive results. A test study in downtown Chicago was found to be nearly twice as effective in preventing pedestrian casualties as the NHTSA’s previous “Have A Safer Journey” program. Likewise, early trials the family-oriented, “You Must Be Thinking, ‘Hey, I Bet My Kids Are Playing In The Driveway, So I Think I’ll Go Back My SUV Out Of The Garage Without Even Fucking Looking And Pulp Them Into A Steaming Red Mess,’” have been similarly successful.

I applaud the NHTSA’s efforts and hope this radical new messaging finally makes people understand that they shouldn’t be experimenting with car v. pedestrian weight ratios.  It’s a national epidemic, and collectively, we have the power to stop it.  Take a moment today to help someone you love not get shredded by an SUV.

Link

Oh Jerry. You so silly.

I guess having your stock fall nearly 15% on over 10x its average daily trading volume is enough to fairly forcibly remove your head from your anus.

May 5 (Bloomberg) — Yahoo! Inc. Chief Executive Officer Jerry Yang said he would be open to another bid from Microsoft Corp. or other companies at a price he considers appropriate.

Yahoo continues to speak with other companies about ways to increase its value, Yang said today in a phone interview with Bloomberg News. While the Sunnyvale, California-based company isn’t for sale, it would listen, “should somebody else come back someday and want to buy the company,” he said.

Yang’s time has come and gone. While I appreciate what he has done for the web and search industry with partner David Filo, it’s clear he has put his pride and ideals before shareholder interests. I suspect this lesson will be taught to Yang in vivid color via the avalanche of lawsuits being drawn up right now.

Link

There aren’t enough words in the English language with the proper levels of reverence to describe how badly I want to own a GT-R.  For my money, there is no better performer on the market and the engineering lengths to which Nissan went are staggering.

The GT-R previously held the production car ‘Ring lap record of 7:38, which beat out ultra-high dollar supercars like the Porsche GT3, Lamborghini Murcielago and Mercedes SLR.  Nonetheless, Nissan engineers (and GT-R test driver Tochio Suzuki) were disappointed, so they went back for another shot.

When the 193-MPH Nissan GT-R set a lap time of 7:38 last year at the ‘Ring, besting cars like the Porsche GT3, Lamborghini Murcielago, and Mercedes SLR, the Nissan team was disappointed. There were two damp corners on the track, and everyone was quite sure that the car, piloted by official test driver Tochio Suzuki, could go faster.

On its latest try, with a dry track, the GT-R has cut a full nine seconds off its previous best time.  This performance means the GT-R now tops such thoroughbred race cars such as the Porsche GT2, Koenigsegg and Mercedes SLR 722 GT.  That’s ultra-expensive race car territory kids.  Purebred machines a production car like the GT-R has no right to trifle with.

Right?

If you take the bone-stock tires off the GT-R and give it racing skins, there’s a very solid chance it would pass the next two record-holders up the road: the Porsche Carrera GT and Pagani Zonda F Clubsport.

Think about that: a production car, which you can bag for a reasonable $70K, topping full-on race cars 3x - 5x more expensive.

In other news, if you want to advertise on GF, I am now accepting ad slots.  An exclusive spot costs $70K and you will stay on the site forever.  Maybe longer.  First come, first serve.

Link

(via Deron Bauman @ clusterflock)

We’ve all pulled our fair share of cube pranks on an out-of-town colleague, but this takes the cake by a gigantic margin.  Holy crap.

(via swissmiss)