Having been in Chicago this past weekend, I can vouch for the necessity of such a program. It’s like people were begging to be drilled by the nearest willing car.
The new program will be first unveiled in select, high-danger cities:
The program began in selected cities this month with the distribution of pamphlets at each city’s most dangerous intersections. It will also expand into national radio spots, televised PSAs, and, most importantly, word-of-mouth. Included in the pamphlets are tips on how every responsible pedestrian can learn to “Get The Fuck Outta The Road,” including “Move your ass!” and “Look where you’re fucking going for once!” as well as an instructive diagram for removing one’s head from one’s ass prior to stepping into the crosswalk.
Then trickle down to the school level to help kids understand the danger inherent in getting obliterated by a car moving 60 MPH:
NHTSA officials say they hope the program will eventually branch out to include elementary schools with the child-friendly program “Hey Kids, Get The Fuck Outta The Road!” which will feature a mascot called Tire-Tread Teddy.
And then into a number of sub-programs:
The NHTSA has also launched a number of complementary subprograms using funding from the National Truck Drivers Union and Greyhound Bus Lines. These include “Oh, Good, Just Ride Your Bike Down The Middle Of The Road Why Don’t You,” “Ever Heard Of A Crosswalk, Dickhead?” and, for more affluent metropolitan neighborhoods, “What The Fuck—Are You Listening To Your Special Getting-Hit-By-A-Car Mix On That iPod, You Vacant Asshole?”
Even with the program barely in its infancy, the early results have been extremely positive:
The new program has already shown positive results. A test study in downtown Chicago was found to be nearly twice as effective in preventing pedestrian casualties as the NHTSA’s previous “Have A Safer Journey” program. Likewise, early trials the family-oriented, “You Must Be Thinking, ‘Hey, I Bet My Kids Are Playing In The Driveway, So I Think I’ll Go Back My SUV Out Of The Garage Without Even Fucking Looking And Pulp Them Into A Steaming Red Mess,’” have been similarly successful.
I applaud the NHTSA’s efforts and hope this radical new messaging finally makes people understand that they shouldn’t be experimenting with car v. pedestrian weight ratios. It’s a national epidemic, and collectively, we have the power to stop it. Take a moment today to help someone you love not get shredded by an SUV.
1 response so far ↓
Bill // May 6, 2008 at 3:36 pm
I realize that this is a good response to my prior post, and it hits the target. I was driving behind some young woman who was applying eye makeup or something using her rearview mirror . As she was looking into he rearview mirror, she drove onto the the right shoulder of the road. But glanced back to the road and got back into her lane, only to do it again a few seconds later. However, this time, a guy running on the shoulder of the road [instead of a nice level sidewalk] was right in her path. At the last moment, she looked up at the road again and saw him and was narrowly able to miss him. I was more upset with her than the runner, BUT RUN ON THE FRIGGIN SIDE WALK FOR GOD’S SAKE [or your own sake]! THAT’S WHY IT’S THERE. GET OUT OF THE FRIGGIN STREET BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE ON THE PHONE, EATING, APPLYING MAKEUP AND WHATEVER, AND THEY COULDN’T CARE LESS ABOUT YOU. A lady hit a runner in the street and complained that he should of been on the sidewalk and he ruined the front end of her car!!!
Thanks for the post.
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